THE LEGEND OF NODDY JOE, 3.965 MHz
As told by those who’ve tried to wake him
Joe Ferguson—NN4ZZZ—was once known as a solid CW man, an early adopter of SSB, and the kind of ham who could tune a Drake TR-4 with his elbow while eating chili and fixing a fan dipole in the rain.
But these days, Joe mostly just… dozes.
It started subtly. He’d drift off mid-call. Miss a net check-in. Wake up thinking someone had said “QRZ” when it was just his refrigerator compressor kicking on. Eventually, it got worse. Joe would lean back in the creaky chair in his shack—sagging under decades of ARRL magazines, coffee rings, and the faint scent of desoldered dreams—and drift off into deep, frequency-bound slumber.
And when he dreamed, oh boy… he transmitted.
📻 The Presidential Net
One Thursday, Joe dreamed he made contact with a secret net of former U.S. presidents on 3.965 MHz.
“This is Whiskey Foxtrot One—Bill here—copy that, Joe.”
“WBØOBAMA here, you’re 5-by-9 into the golf course.”
“This is Ronald Reagan. Well… I was Ronald Reagan.”
Joe awoke and carefully logged the contact.
Date: 04/14
Time: 03:14 Zulu
Freq: 3.965 MHz
Mode: LSB
Comments: “Strong signals, slight Cold War QSB.”
🌲 The Drug Cartel in the Woods
Another night, Joe nodded off while waiting for a net that never materialized and found himself in a conversation with a clandestine drug cartel, hiding deep in the Appalachian woods, using 3.965 for “shipment coordination.”
“Pinecone to Duck Nest, we’ve got the snowflakes.”
“QSL, Duck Nest. The mule is in the barn. Over.”
“This is NN4ZZZ. Just wondering what antenna y’all are running?”
They didn’t answer. Joe awoke, convinced they’d gone QRT due to “federal QRM.” Logged it anyway.
Date: 05/01
Time: 23:22 Zulu
Freq: 3.965 MHz
Mode: LSB
Comments: “Weak signal. Suspect end-fed half-wave. Good guys.”
🕶 South American Special Ops
In one nap that lasted only 14 minutes, Joe claimed to have spoken with a special operations unit hiding in a jungle near the Andes.
“This is Tango Lima Actual. We’re pinned down. Taking small arms fire. Can you relay to command?”
“This is Joe in Alabama. I can’t hear you too well, but try turning your mic gain down and point your beam north.”
“This is life or death, sir!”
“Yeah, I know the feeling. Had a bad antenna match last night myself.”
Logged.
Date: 04/23
Time: 01:45 Zulu
Freq: 3.965 MHz
Mode: LSB
Comments: “Tense conversation. QSL card pending.”
🧊 The Underground Civilizations of Antarctica (Yes, Two)
Joe swears he contacted not one, but two separate underground civilizations based beneath the ice shelf in Antarctica. One used AM, the other PSK31. Both claimed to have been monitoring ham radio transmissions since 1938.
“We are the Elders of Subterra-5. You are welcome, Surface Joe.”
“Copy that, Subterra-5. You’re 5-9 plus, some flutter. Using a Kenwood?”
“We use crystal-matrix emitters shaped like sea cucumbers.”
“Nice. Are you guys on QRZ?”
Logged.
Dates: 03/30 and 04/01 (separate QSOs, he insists)
Freq: 3.965 MHz
Mode: “Unknown / Vibrational”
Comments: “They sounded cold.”
📚 The Logbook of Dreams
Joe’s logbook is now three volumes deep. Dates vary. Times shift. But every contact—every single one—was made on 3.965 MHz.
He’s entered for DXCC, WAS, and the newly invented WUA (Worked Unknown Allegedly) award.
Nobody has the heart to tell him they’re just dreams. And frankly, nobody wants to. The stories are too good. Besides, every now and then—just as he starts to nod off—you can swear you hear strange voices on 3.965…
Calling for Joe.
And somewhere in his shack, the chair creaks.
And the logging pen hovers.
And the air smells faintly of chili and mystery.
